10 Biggest Mistakes Made In Relationships

#10 Clinging Too Much

Everyone needs their own personal space. If you love your partner you should trust them enough to give them their space and not try to invade every second of their life. This isn’t the case when you’re married. Marriage is a blessing and after marriage you and your partner share the same life together. But when you’re in a relationship, you can’t suddenly take over their life unless it’s a mutual decision. Don’t make them feel suffocated and don’t make them regret the decision of being with you.

#9 Being Jealous Of Each Other

Relationships should never have the element of jealousy involved. You love your partner, you are not supposed to be jealous if they have a better job than you or a better social circle than you. You are supposed to be their strength and make them bigger in life rather than complain about how you can’t compete with them. It’s not a competition. Your partner will do everything in their power to make you a stronger person and you should do the same.

#8 Listening To Others More Than Your Partner

Bringing a third person in the middle of your relationship won’t always end well. If you are facing a problem with your partner and you start asking the world for help it will obviously create a lot of trust issues between you and your partner. Couples Therapy is different, they are trained professionals and their only job is to make things work between you two. But when it comes to friends, everyone will give you their own opinion and it might make your mind think in too many directions which leads to over-thinking. And we all know where over-thinking takes us.

#7 Leaving Arguments Unsolved

We’ve seen this happen a lot around us and it has happened to us as well. When an argument is left unsolved in the middle, it won’t go away. It will keep growing and come out in the form of a huge fight which will eventually lead to break up. Whenever any problem arises, make sure you solve it then and there. If you forgive your partner’s mistakes, forget their mistakes and never bring them up in future arguments, it will only mean you never forgave them in the first place.

#6 Taking It Too Easy

Some couples start off amazing and slowly lose the spark they had. It could be because they don’t find each other as interesting as they did before, it could be because of someone else being in their mind, it could be because of a lot of reasons but it shouldn’t happen in the first place. Keep the romance alive and be the same partner you were when you first fell in love with them. Keep the romance going and make the memories stronger.

#5 A Lot Of Giving And No Getting

I’ve seen a lot of relationships in which one of the two do as much as they can to make their partner happy while the partner forgets everything they did for them in the middle of every argument and every rocky phase. Relationships are all about give and take. If you don’t cherish your partner for all the effort and time they spend on you, they won’t be around for too long because someone else will make them feel appreciated. Start giving back, love them the way they love you or even more. Cherish them before it’s too late.

#4 Not Letting Go Of The Past

Everyone has a past. It is wise to clear everything up even before getting into a relationship with someone to leave no room for doubts and assumptions later. Don’t cling to your partner’s past either, the past shouldn’t matter to you. You love someone for who they are not the baggage they carry. If you start snooping on them, it will only make you see things you shouldn’t have seen in the first place and it will break your partner’s trust because it was the past. Live in the present and work for an amazing future.

#3 Assumptions

The word “assumption” actually makes me cringe. It is one of the scariest things to have in a relationship and it leads to nothing but a bad ending to a perfect story. Once you start assuming, you will make a habit of it and you will soon create an entire mountain of assumptions on your partner’s shoulders. Stop assuming and start asking if there’s anything you have doubts about. Relationships are built on trust, not assumptions. Just because they’ve made mistakes in the past doesn’t mean you just assume they’ll do it in the future.

#2 Faking Interests

When you love someone, you love them for who they are. You love each and every little thing they do because that’s who they are. You try making them a better person by making their bad habits go away. But it doesn’t mean you start pretending to like what they do just to make them smile. Faking your interests in them will only make matters worse for later. Tell them exactly how you feel about them, their social life, their friends, their family, because you don’t fake in love if you mean it.

#1 Thinking Of Marriage As The Answer To Everything

Some couples tend to think marriage will end the issues they have brewing up between them. Marriage is one of the biggest moves in life and it changes lives. But it is not wise to take the step before knowing if it will last or not. Some couples tend to fight a lot, on a daily basis, and they think once they’re married all of their problems will suddenly vanish. That’s not the case, marry ONLY when you’re sure of it and not just to save a dying relationship.

http://relationshiprules.co/post.php/10_Biggest_Mistakes_Made_In_Relationships/0

Eight Things To Do To Live Life To The Fullest

By Mel Sim for Yahoo! Southeast Asia – Tue, Sep 3, 2013 11:20 AM PHT

We’ve all done it – looked at a friend’s Facebook profile or blog and say, “I wished I could do that too.” Always comparing your life to someone else’s and finding it coming up short? It doesn’t have to be that way. The only thing between you and a life less ordinary is well, you!

So step out of your comfort zone and embrace life to the fullest. Start with these eight items on our must-do list to live life to the fullest.

1. Travel! Go somewhere at least once a year

Nothing broadens the mind more than travel so by all means, book yourself a holiday to enjoy what the cultures of the world have to offer. Always dreamed of going somewhere exotic? Work towards it. There’s no place that is beyond your reach (yes, you can even be a space tourist!). Don’t have the means to travel halfway round the world or even go to space? Try joining traveling contests or save up so you can visit your dream destination.

2. Achieve something. Document it.

Always wanted to run the marathon? Why not make it your goal to do it! Life is all about achievements so if it has always been your dream to clock in 5km or even the full 42.5km, know that it is possible. Or if it has always been your dream to build something from scratch, lay out the best possible plans to get it done. Remember, most times, it is the journey towards your achievement that matters most. So document it – blog, video logs, photos – anything that you can come back to years later and say, “Yup, I did it!”

3. Be passionate about something. Make money out of it!
Jealous of that friend who is selling his comic arts online and making a fortune out of it? Chances are he’s probably passionate about drawing, which is why he is so good at it and is getting noticed for it too! So if you have something that you’re passionate about—like baking or making something from scratch—by all means, put your heart into it and do it well. When you’re passionate about something, the end result shows for it. And people will want to get a piece of that passion you’ve put out there for sale.

4. Blog it!

Wish you could have a blog that is being read by someone halfway across the world? Guess what—you can! Blogging is one of the most fun ways to connect with other people as well as share your life. It can also be a great way to make some income, especially if you’re blogging about something completely unique or have a fun blogging style that people can relate too. There are many things you can blog about— food, travel, your pets. Just keep updating it so that your readers will always have something new to read.

5. Do something you’re afraid of

Got a fear of heights? Hate being in the limelight? Face your fears head on and do something that completely scares you. You’ll soon realize that there is really nothing to be afraid of – singing in front of a crowd isn’t that bad, after all—and who knows, you may just enjoy facing your fears that it will soon be something you’ll look forward to doing.

6. Volunteer. Do some good

It doesn’t always have to be about you. Spend a weekend every month giving back to charity, whether it is volunteering at a charity home or helping a friend or a neighbor in need. Not only will it make the other person feel good, that act of kindness will do wonder for your soul.

7. Adopt a pet!

Because looking after a four-legged creature like a dog or a cat will not only make you feel like a better human, but it is said to also feed you with feel-good factors and stress-reducing hormones. Besides, there’s no better feeling in the world than coming home to a pet who thinks you’re the world.

8. Experience something different whenever possible

Life is all about experiences. And this includes eating a food that you’ll never think of trying, picking up a new language, watching a foreign movie, or even trying out something you’ll normally not do. Go on—do yourself a favor and give everything a try at least once. This way, you can actually say, “Been there, done that. What’s next?”

 

http://ph.she.yahoo.com/eight-things-to-do-to-live-life-to-the-fullest-032039931.html

Skincare Commandments for Men: How to Fight Oily Skin

By Pierra Calasanz-Labrador for Yahoo! Southeast Asia – Thu, Aug 1, 2013 10:07 AM PHT

A lot of guys couldn’t care less about their skin being dry or (gasp) sunburned. “We like it when we look rugged and scruffy and masculine,” says Nic*, a twenty-something photographer and runner. But how about when their skin is oily? “Eeew, gross! That’s so uncool.” We would second the motion—would you want a date who will outshine you, and not in a good way?

Before your man starts feeling more like Mr. Giant Pores instead of Mr. Pogi, it’s time to make him switch to an oil-control facial wash, formulated especially for men (stop lending yours!). Let him know these basic face-saving commandments.

1. Thou shalt not use soap 
With all the men’s cleansing products out there today, it amazes us that some guys still subject their face to harsh body soap. “I like soap because it’s simple, and it leaves my face feeling squeaky clean,” confessed Nic.

The thing is, when skin feels squeaky clean, it usually means your face is taut and drier than it should be. Which sounds like a good thing, but see, your skin has a mind of its own, and when it feels too dry, your sebum glands going into overdrive to compensate—before you know it, excess oil is oozing out of your pores.

2. Exfoliate
Once or twice a week, remember to exfoliate. A good facial scrub (yes the ones with the beady things) helps unclog pores, slough away dead skin cells, sebum and dirt build-up, and softens hair follicles for a smoother shave. Warning: exfoliating more than twice a week can really irritate your skin.

3. Thou shalt not pick at your zits
What’s worse than oily skin? Oily skin with zits! Blackheads, whiteheads, and zits may be caused by dirt, sweat, oil, and bacteria clogging your pores (also, stress, diet, and lack of sleep among other things). But whatever you do, don’t touch those zits! Pricking them may spread the bacteria and lead to more zits, or worse, leave unsightly scars.

Pimple care 101: every morning and evening, wash your face with a gentle cleanser, wipe away deep-seated dirt with a toner formulated for your skin type, then apply spot treatment on the offending zit (like benzoyl peroxide or tea tree oil; for serious acne, it’s best to see a dermatologist).

4. Thou shalt not forget to apply moisturizer
Yes, it sounds like a contradiction—why apply moisturizer when your skin is oily already? But the airconditioning in offices, classrooms, malls, and even your own bedroom can be murder on your skin, sapping it of essential moisture and making some parts dry and rough to the touch. The answer? Rehydrate skin! Moisturizer isn’t just for girls. Aside from maintaining proper skin moisture levels, it helps prevent razor burn. If moisturizer feels too heavy on your skin during the day, at least apply a layer at night. Skin will start to look more fresh, and you (and your significant other) will feel the difference in no time.

5. Blot away! 
Having a particularly greasy day, but have no time to splash your face with water before your presentation or coffee date? Oil-blotting paper to the rescue! There are a couple of variants in the market (it also comes in more manly black)—choose from the blotting film that sops up the oil, or paper dusted with talc to zap the shine. If he doesn’t want to be caught dead carrying some, he can casually bum one off from you whenever you freshen up.

http://ph.she.yahoo.com/skincare-commandments-for-men–fighting-oily-skin-020712242.html

5 Money Mistakes 20-somethings Should Avoid

BY LIANNE MARTHA LAROYA

Being 20-something is tough. You look for a decent job, save up for your dream house and try hard to please your parents. Being a young adult is a confusing rollercoaster ride.

If you’re 20-something, chances are you may feel that you’re not ready for the “real world” just yet. Therefore, you are prone to committing money mistakes that can cost you your dreams, your slim bank account, and even your relationship with your loved ones.

You’re in good company. I know what you’re going through.

Don’t be a victim. Equip yourself with information by reading this guide specifically made for you.

1. Falling into the trap of lifestyle inflation.

You can either be a fresh graduate or a senior employee – the amount of your salary doesn’t matter! What matters is where your salary goes.

Does it happily go to investments? Is your bank account healthy? Is your investment portfolio progressive?

Or does your salary sadly go to luxury purchases? Do you have a love-hate relationship with your bank account? Do you have any idea what an investment portfolio is?

Believe me, I’m not trying to sound like your mother here. I’m trying to sound like a concerned friend.

Having money that you worked for really lets you feel that you’re in absolute control. So does this mean that with your new job, you immediately need a new condo, a new car, a new set of clothes and a new gadget to go along with it?

Absolutely not.

My friend, if you start falling into the mindset that you need the latest things just because you can afford them, then you will find yourself mistaking this materialistic pleasure as happiness. If this is the case, then you’re going to be stuck in a never-ending cycle of fake bliss.

This cycle of fake bliss is incredibly expensive.

Advice: Don’t depend on your possessions for your happiness. All new things get old after a while. You will never be contented.

2. Thinking of credit cards as ‘free money.’

Did you know that major credit card companies have a list of young adults who they can contact as soon as they’ve landed their first job? Expect that nagging phone call. These companies would call you up and tell you that you’ve met their “requirements” so you’re eligible for a credit card account.

What are the basic requirements for a credit card account?

Seriously, if you have disposable income and are willing to pay out-of-this-world interest rates if you failed to pay your monthly dues, then you’re qualified!

My friend, your credit card is not free money. It’s a piece of plastic that you use to buy things that you can’t afford at the moment. It makes you buy impulse purchases just because you can.

I have a friend who used her credit card to buy a toothbrush. The toothbrush was P108. She thought the interest would just be minimal so she neglected to pay her dues on time.

After a while, she finally decided to check on how much she owes. She used her credit card to buy onetoothbrush. She never used it again but she never paid her balance as well. Now, she owes P3,500.

That’s a difference of roughly P3,400! Do you really want to shell out extra cash just for the sake of instant gratification?

Advice: If you don’t have the self-discipline to pay your monthly dues on full and on time, I suggest that you refrain from even opening a credit card account. Don’t even think about it!

3. Ignoring the importance of budgeting.

The idea of budgeting seems overwhelming, I know. Some friends of mine take the concept of budgeting to extremes.

Some of them have charts, graphs and Excel recordings of everything up to the single centavo.

And the others? They don’t even have any idea of how much they spend every month!

I’m in the middle ground. I know budgeting is crucial.

After all, how can you treat a disease if you can’t even diagnose it? How can you find your way if you don’t know that you’re already lost? How can you solve your problem if you’re not even aware of its existence?

However, I’m not that extreme – I believe in having a basic spending and saving plan.

Advice: Why don’t you try implementing the 60-20-10-10 rule? Out of all your take-home income, 60% should go to your living expenses, 20% is for your personal saving goals, 10% is for your retirement, and 10% is for giving back to the community.

Here’s a template that you can get started on.

4. Failing to invest in yourself.

Just because you’ve finished college doesn’t mean that you should stop learning altogether. Actually life after college is the best time to continue your education! No one will be around to encourage you to improve yourself, so you should have the initiative to pursue personal development.

Don’t mope around and expect that you will grow magically when you’re not really exerting the right amount of effort.

Also, don’t think that you can’t afford to spend money on personal development right now. At the end of the day, you’re not really spending your money – you’re investing it. You will reap the rewards in the future so be patient.

Advice: Attend seminars on how to expand your job eligibility. Network with relevant people in your dream career and learn from them. Take up a new language. Apply for scholarships abroad. Enroll in cost-effective courses that are related to your industry. Read inspirational books!

5. Neglecting precious opportunities to start saving up for retirement.

When talking with people in the same age range as I am, I just can’t seem to stress the topic of retirement enough.

Get this: we should start saving up for retirement while we’re still young so that we can enjoy the reward when we’re already old!

When we start early, we can afford to invest small amounts because we have more time. This makes sense, doesn’t it?

Warren Buffett once said, “The rich invest in time, the poor invest in money.”

I mean, come on, why should you wait until you’re old enough to save? Doing so will just make you more pressured. Plus, if you wait until you’re substantially old, you need to invest larger amounts of money because you’ll have less time!

Advice: Sure, enrolling yourself in SSS is a common plan of action. However, don’t just be content with this pension plan – you should move one step further and start investing in the stock market. If you still have 10-20 years before retirement, putting your retirement account in the stock market as an investment, not as a trade, is the best option, in my humble opinion.

Keep these tips in mind to help you take on the real life. Your older self will thank you for it.

Are you ready to take on the real life, then, colleagues?

 

http://www.rappler.com/move-ph/ispeak/30442-5-money-mistakes-20-somethings-should-avoid

The 5 Most Important Pieces Of Relationship Advice

By CAITLIN ABBER

1. “If you have more than five deal breakers, you are the deal breaker.” – Dan Savage

I don’t know the exact moment, podcast, blog or book Dan said this in (it might be from his book The Commitment, which should be required reading) but it is absolutely true. If you keep rejecting people because they aren’t wearing the shoes you and your friends deem acceptable, you are limiting yourself in a way that is entirely self-destructive. Do you want an example of five acceptable deal breakers? Here are mine:

1. Uses “gay” as a derogatory term.
2. Is rude to waiters/ cab drivers/ homeless people.
3. Has the same dirty dishes in the sink as the last time you came over.
4. Thinks pop music is dumb.
5. Says mean things about you or your body.

Those are my five. Make your five and then promise yourself you will get over the rest. Otherwise, you will be ALONE FOREVER.

See also: The Price of Admission (another Dan Savagism — but you can Google it).

2. “If you work really hard and are kind, amazing things will happen.” – Conan O’Brien

This quote is technically not about love or relationships, but then again, itso is. When you are in a relationship, the hardest part is working hard at it when it isn’t fun, and being kind when you want to murder your partner’s face off. But I can promise you, if your heart is in the “trying to make it happen” basket, working hard and being kind are the two things that will always get you through. Any senior citizen couple holding hands on a park bench will tell you that.

3. “Because it fulfills yearnings for security, safe haven, and connection that express our common humanity, civil marriage is an esteemed institution, and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life’s momentous acts of self-definition.” – Goodridge vs. the Department of Public Health

This is a famous quote from the ruling that gave same sex couples the right to marry in Massachusetts. While this is about marriage, I also think there is so much to take from it as far as dating goes. Don’t ever forget that the relationship you’re in is one you’ve chosen to be in, one that defines part of your life, for a week or a month, ten years, or maybe even forever. Romantic relationships shape our lifestyles and our futures, so always make sure you are with someone who doesn’t hold you back, keep you down, or make you become someone you don’t want to be. This is also true for yearning for someone who doesn’t want to be with you. Don’t be that person for too long or else you will regret it.

4. “How Can We Be Lovers if We Can’t Be Friends?” – Michael Bolton

Don’t laugh at me! I am serious about this one! Look, my parents have been married for over thirty years and when you ask them why it has lasted for so long they say “I married my best friend” (and then you cry a million young person tears). If you are thinking of stepping into the “trying to end it” basket with your boo, a really important thing to consider is this: would this person you’re dating drive across town during rush hour to bring you an important document you need for work, even though it totally screws up their plans for the rest of the day? If the answer is no, you know what you need to do.

5. “Me myself and I/ That’s all I got in the end/ That’s what I found out/ And it ain’t no need to cry / I took a vow that from now on / I’m gonna be my own best friend”  – Beyoncé

It would be out of character for me to make any sort of list about love without including the person I love most in the world, Beyoncé (just kidding, Mom, Dad, my boyfriend…). But really, the hardest part about relationships — long term, short term, one night — is knowing how great you are (yes, you!) at all times. Sometimes relationships make us feel bad. Sometimes being single makes us depressed and drunk. It’s hard out there, either way. Be kind to yourself first, and please never put yourself in the “trying to end it” basket. Someone out there is waiting for you — and it’s going to be really great when it happens.

 

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/the-5-most-important-pieces-of-relationship-advice/

17 Ways To Relieve Your Stress

By CHRISTOPHER HUDSPETH

1. Never discuss politics or religion with just anyone. Be firm on this rule.Maybe, under very strict circumstances, discuss with select, intelligent individuals. I promise, a debate on these topics with an ignorant person will raise your blood pressure to heights it’s never seen before.

2. Stop hanging around the friend, who isn’t really your friend — that gets on your nerves regularly. They might be tricky to shake if they’re associated with someone who you’re close to, but avoid spending your “happy time” around any folks who make your blood boil habitually.

3. If the opportunity arises, pay bills in advance. Any extra money not spent wisely, immediately after it is acquired, will often be wasted on unnecessary purchases. That may be fine and dandy, but if there comes a time where you’re behind on expenses, you’ll regret it.

4. If you want to text or call someone — do it. Disregard two day rules, “buts” and “what ifs.” Most of the time, too much thought is put into these decisions.

5. Don’t commit to anything, unless you absolutely have to or unquestionably want to. Far too often we agree to attend an event, or provide a favor that we’d honestly rather not. When the day to fulfill that promise is approaching, we freak out. It’s much easier to give a “maybe,” that way if you bail — you’re not considered a flake. Nobody likes a flake.

6. Avoid falling victim to procrastination’s temptation. It’s typically appealing in the moment, but its lasting effects aren’t so pleasant. That time spent lazily doing unproductive shenanigans, could’ve been utilized finishing the work you’re presently stressing over.

7. If you’re going to wear white, bring a piece of backup clothing. Something about white magnetizes spilled drinks or dropped food (particularly anything covered in barbecue sauce) directly toward it. The staining is inevitable, so be prepared in advance.

8. Make a conscious effort to be punctual. Running late never fails to get you worked up. It’ll seem like every light is red, every car is slow, and every minute is a second. To avoid cussing out stoplights and drivers, give yourself ample time to arrive at your destination.

9. Don’t invest too many feelings in reality television contests. Whether it’sSurvivor, Big Brother, Amazing Race or one of those “finding love” competitions (e.g. The Bachelor) — avoid developing a strong liking for the contestants. Eventually you’ll find yourself entirely devoted to the show, scheduling your day around its new episodes and caring immensely who is eliminated.

10. Have a “Treat Yourself” day. If you’re not familiar with the concept, watch the video below.

11. When building furniture or equipment, just read the directions. All it takes is one incorrectly done, or overlooked step to ruin the entire assembling process. Even if you’re a connoisseur of construction, give the instructions a speedy skim — it could be potentially saving you some aggravation.

12. If you’re currently in an unhealthy relationship, that is headed nowhere fast, force yourself to cut ties. It’s obviously easier said than done, but if you know that it’s only a matter of time until it’ll dissolve, do it now. The temporary struggles immediately after your breakup may sting, but that’s less stressful than living unhappily involved with someone.

13. Don’t throw parties at your place. There’s far more at risk to be lost than gained. Intoxicated people tend to vomit, urinate, and be noisy, clumsy or inconsiderate. Why would you want someone with those characteristics putting your home in jeopardy? The other problem is the uninvited guests that’ll show up. One mass text can result in a party full of strangers. Save yourself an abundance of stress by attending parties as opposed to hosting them.

14. Quit comparing yourself to others. You don’t have to have a higher paying job, be as smart, or as good-looking as everyone else out there. Seeing others be successful should inspire you — not obliterate your confidence and give you anxiety over your fading opportunity to accomplish lifetime goals.

15. Save any document you’re working on as you work on it. Losing a lengthy essay, or graphic that you spent hours working on is so disappointing. Don’t ever allow yourself to experience the frustration. Between flash drives and the simple option of clicking “file,” followed by “save,” there are very few reasonable excuses for losing a file.

16. Know the business hours of the places you have to be. For one, you don’t want to be that guy, entering and roaming around Blockbuster four minutes before closing time. Secondly; finding out that the store you need items from is closing soon, will momentarily send you into a mad dash. You’ll make hasty decisions to get in, and out — but it’d be a lot easier if you stayed informed of these little things.

17. Sleep with the light on if necessary. We’ve all had that night where our mind insists on playing out various terrifying scenarios, as soon as we lay our heads to rest. Or the times when we wake up in a cold sweat as a result of a nightmare. Hell — it could be something as simple as hearing a creak or bump, that leaves you with an eerie feeling. Whatever the case, sometimes you may need a little light to ease the tension. It could be slightly embarrassing, but it beats laying in bed wide-awake and on edge.

 

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/17-ways-to-relieve-your-stress/

Spice Up Your Relationship Every Morning

Mornings. They’re infamous for being unpleasant. Too often, just getting up and getting started becomes more important than paying attention to the people around you.

Now, Break Routine
You don’t have to wait until a birthday or holiday to do something special for your partner. Spontaneously remind him that he’s important. Make a nice pancake breakfast with a whipped-cream smiley face. Have fresh flowers waiting on the breakfast table. Do a chore or errand that he typically handles in the morning so that he’s got a little extra free time.

Write a Note
Imagine your spouse getting to work, already sighing at the growing workload. Now imagine her opening her briefcase and, on top of the files and legal pads, finding a special note from you reiterating your affection and wishing your the best for the day ahead. Never forget that the smallest gestures can have the biggest results.

Have the Last Word
How many times have you remembered the ending of a movie or book, but not much of the middle? Last impressions are critical, so make an effort to ensure that your last words to your partner each morning are positive and encouraging. (Try sharing one great thing about your relationship as your partner heads out the door.) Just a few words have the power to make a day start great or to make it start bumpy — use your words the right way.

Follow Up
The morning is a great time to begin communication, but don’t forget to follow up later in the day. Your partner might be offended if you discussed an important meeting planned for that day but don’t ask about it later. You must work to grow your relationship and to support your partner not just in the early morning hours, but throughout the day and night.

 

http://ph.she.yahoo.com/photos/spice-marriage-every-morning-slideshow/-photo-2468056-013100302.html

10 Ways to Make a Bad Day Better

How do we turn that terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day into something that is…for lack of a better word…better? First, we change our minds. But sometimes it takes little more than just changing your mind. Other times we need to shake up it up a little bit.

1. Hug it out. There is nothing like a hug to just make things feel OK. One of the best things about a hug is that you really can’t get one without giving one back simultaneously. It’s a win-win. You give and you get. So, hug someone or something, your spouse, a friend, your lover, your pet, a parent, child, sibling, a stranger even. But don’t just hug for the sake of hugging, and please avoid the half-assed side-arm hug which just always leaves me feeling worse instead of better. Make it a hug that you are fully present for, a hug that you mean, a hug that matters.

2. Laugh. Find something to laugh about. Call a friend that makes you laugh and maybe stroll down funny memory lane. Turn on a comedy or sitcom — Modern Family is my go-to laughing source these days, seriously guaranteed laugh-lout-loud.

3. Make a Happy List. Write down the things that make you happy. It can be a list of anything….soy lattes, fluffy white bath towels, a gift of raw dark chocolate macaroons, wearing a sundress in San Francisco and still being hot, the extra 10 minute massage after a fresh pedicure, heating blankets, the smell of my face soap, Friday Night Lights…anything that brings you even the smallest dose of joy. Maybe even look back on the supposedly bad day and identify all of the good things that have been a part of it, too. This shifts my perspective right away and I realize that there is always a ton of good that just gets overshadowed by the bad sometimes.

4. Shake your groove thing. Turn on some music and dance. Dance like no one is watching or, if it’s your thing, dance like everyone is watching.

5. Take it outside. Growing up, when we inevitably started to get on each others’ nerves, my mom would tell us to “just go play outside.” I remember so vividly that the minute we hit the fresh air our collective mood would change. Fresh air can be so healing and so purifying. Even if it’s just for five minutes, step outside and sip in a big ol’ breath of fresh air deep down into your lungs.

6. Take three deep breaths. When we are stressed, frustrated, and anxious we are existing in our sympathetic nervous system where everything is heightened and we find ourselves on edge. Fortunately, all it takes to shift out of the sympathetic nervous system into the parasympathetic nervous system where we feel more balanced, calm and relaxed, is three deep breaths. Inhale slowly and fully and then exhale completely. Notice yourself begin to relax.

7. Sweat. However you want to do it, sweat. Roll out your yoga mat, go for a run, take your dog for a vigorous walk, go to a kickboxing class, have a dance party, chop your own firewood, or do whatever you gotta do that feels right to you. Just get your heart rate up and get a good sweat on. Those positive endorphins can do some seriously good work on a bad mood.

8. Sing. Turn on that song that you love to sing along to and turn the music way up and just sing your heart out. Alicia Keys, Norah Jones, Adele, Anthony Hamilton and more country singers than I can mention have lifted me out of some pretty dark moments just by unknowingly allowing me to sing with them. Or, if you love to chant, chant your heart out. A little bit of Kali Durga Jai Jai Ma or the Gayatri Mantra and I am a new(er) person. Sing or chant without any worry or concern about how your voice sounds. Sing or chant as if you have the most beautiful voice in the world. If it’s a nice day and you feel like going for a drive, get in your car, roll your windows down and belt it out. Just sing, baby.

9. Practice a random act of kindness. Do something for someone else just because you can. No agenda. No expectation. Practice a random act of kindness without any attachment to the outcome. Even better, do it anonymously. This is like magic.

10. Pray. Know that you are not alone. Ever. Prayer is a powerful way to remember this.

http://ph.she.yahoo.com/photos/10-ways-bad-day-better-slideshow/-photo-2536667-084300548.html

Love in the Facebook Era

Nowadays, most of the mundane and significant moments in our lives are broadcasted simultaneously on our social media networks, whether it be Twitter, Facebook or Instagram. Even though you haven’t seen your friend from elementary or high school, somehow you know what he’s eaten for lunch, what his wife or girlfriend looks like or how fast his baby has grown.

In this era of unfiltered and instantaneous sharing, romantic relationships have naturally been affected by the presence of social networks. In some countries for example, app developers have created social networks such as Between. Described as a “private space for couples”, Between lets the twosome interact with messages, voice mails and photo album, chronicling their relationship timeline in their own little space. Of course, not all couples are discreet like that. How else do we get our lunch time entertainment when couples on our feed get into heated public fights on Facebook?

If companies now base employment on how one conducts himself on social networks, it stands to reason that any potential dates you may have had already scoped out your activities on Twitter/Facebook, and sometimes if they don’t like what they see they may end up not pushing through with the date.

Here are the 10 commandments on how to survive relationships in the age of Facebook.
1. Thou shalt not overly flaunt your brand-new relationship. We all have this friend. The one who suddenly decides to create just one account for her and her new honey.  She posts nothing but couple shots, happy selfies and love quotes. We get it, you’re in love. We don’t need a blow by blow account though.

2. Thou shalt not stalk the ex and his new girlfriend. While it’s perfectly human to want to find out what’s going on with your ex since you broke up, it’s not the best idea to make it a daily habit. If you can’t seem to kick the habit of researching him, enlist the help of your friends and keep yourself busy. If you don’t feel like defriending him, hide his posts until you feel like you’ve truly moved on.

3. Thou shalt not proclaim your bitterness to the world. So the two of you broke up and he was a giant jerk about it. It doesn’t mean that you should inform everyone in full detail (with photos) how big a jerk he was. Not only will this make your common friends uncomfortable, it will only make him think he “dodged a bullet” when you go all woman-scorned-hear-me-roar online.

4. Keep your photos SFW (safe for work) or make sure to utilize Facebook’s privacy settings. You don’t want your boyfriend’s mom (or grandma) to see the two of you frolicking on the beach.

5. Thou shalt not flood your friends’ timelines with sap.

6. Going on a blind date? Employ the golden rule by not posting anything on your social networks something that is likely to turn you off if you see it on his.

7. Don’t add his friends and relatives on Facebook unless you’ve already met them or if you’ve been dating for more than three months.

8. Don’t use social media to check up on your significant other and pick a fight with him over it.

9. Nor should you demand he take down photos, messages–any sign of existence of his ex on his social networks. Wouldn’t it be sweeter if he did it all on his own?

10. Don’t demand for him to change his relationship status to “in a relationship.”

 

http://ph.she.yahoo.com/love-in-the-facebook-era-004142990.html

Foods to Avoid Before Going to Sleep

Written By Mandy Seay For QuickEasyFit

Everyone likes to snack a little at night before going to sleep. However, research shows that late-night dining can have an adverse effect on our sleep. Granted some foods do help us get to sleep, but some foods should be avoided at night.

Below are 4 foods that you should avoid if you want to have a peaceful night’s sleep:

Pasta -A bowl of pasta might be easy to make, but it’s not the best thing to eat before going to sleep. Pasta is full of carbohydrates. If you go to sleep right after eating pasta, all the carbohydrates will be turned into fat. The other ingredients in pasta such as oil, cheese, tomato sauce and, etc. will only add more fat to your body. In addition, addition, pasta contains a high glycemic index meaning that it has high-sugar content. The high amount of sugar affects the blood-sugar levels in our body. Therefore, disrupting our sleep patterns.

Ice Cream -A scoop of ice cream at night might be the most delicious bedtime treat; however, it is not as soothing as people may think. Ice cream is full of fat. Eating it at night will allow the body to burn all the fat before you get to bed. Furthermore, the sugar content will give you an energy boost which will keep you awake throughout the night.

Some research studies show a correlation between eating food with high-sugar content and nightmares.

Pizza – If you feel like staying up all night, have a slice of greasy pizza. Pizza is not a light meal. Just one slice can cause your stomach to go into overdrive. The tomato sauce contains a high concentration of acidity, which causes acid reflux and heartburn. High-fat and acid content will leave you tossing and turning all night long.

Alcohol – Some people believe that alcohol leads to a good night’s sleep; however, this is not entirely accurate. Alcohol does somewhat get people to sleep; however, its effects do not last unusually long. Research shows that alcohol disrupts the restorative ability of the body during sleep leading to several wake-up calls.

In addition, people that drink alcohol to fall asleep tend to develop a dependency on it, which ultimately causes a serious addiction problem.

If you want to ensure a good night’s sleep, then these four foods should be avoided before going to bed.

http://www.quickeasyfit.com/4-foods-to-avoid-before-going-to-sleep/